Why I've been so busy (and why writing was the first thing I cut)

High school is a wonderful time to explore extra-curriculars. And I'm so glad I got involved with robotics. Really.

But it sure did take up a lot of my time.

Since kickoff for FRC in January, I've been working nonstop for robotics. With such successful district events, we were guaranteed a spot for States and Worlds.

All that has since ended, as of a week ago, along with the AP Chem exam, which was last Monday.

And I'm finding that I have all this free time. With my busy winter and spring, writing had to be the first thing to go. Before music, before reading, I had to cut writing, which sucks. But I'm also given the opportunity to get back into it (again). Why can't I ever just "stay" into it?

Summer is quickly approaching. I have high hopes (for cooking, reading, gardening, socializing, making music, listening to music, and of course, writing). I'm also getting back into my quarterly goals, which I neglected last period.

Hopefully I start seeing some changes in my productivity.

Hopefully I start making some changes in my productivity.

Jump. Then control the jump.

I wish my enthusiasm for life translated into my writing.

Though I fall into deep bouts of social media, and suffer awful creativity slumps, I'm one of the most gung-ho people I know. I make myself to-do lists (without which nothing would get done) and strive constantly to raise the bar of my success higher as I get closer. If I'm not busy in life, I'm not doing things worthwhile--because without the extra drive to push myself to keep doing, I'd be doing very little. I take 'all or nothing' to a new level: I'm either involved in 62 things at once, or I'm sitting on the couch watching Sherlock for the 8th time. 

Perhaps the reason this cycle is so…cyclical is because both extremes are deeply satisfying. They are my introvertedness and extrovertedness acting in layers, pushing and pulling as my brain recharges from its own fervor of activity. My inner self is its own best friend and worst enemy. I have such a strong love for relaxing and creating that it's easy to lose my goals and inspirations. 

And that's why I'm finding it hard--really hard--to take myself serious about this writing thing. In my writing journal today (which I still use, if anyone is keeping tabs) I wrote: either INSPIRE YOURSELF or WRITE ANYWAY. And writing anyway, well that is just another form of jumping. It's difficult writing when you have no idea what you want to write about. Or creating when you have no idea what you want to create. This is applicable to many things in my life. I think one of my major yearly goals is to jump more often. UTILIZE YOUR SENSE OF GUNG-HO. Take advantage of your interests and limit your Pinterest time so you can maximize your creating time. Stop freaking waiting all the time. You're not getting any younger, and you're certainly not getting anything done. 

2016 Reading Goals

Like every blogger and vlogger out there, I have some hopes and wishes for the new year.

1. Trim my TBR: I'm sure this is on most people's reading resolutions, too. So far I have accomplished 1/24 of the TBR books I own. I'd love to get that to a manageable number by next December (perhaps under ten? Could that happen?).
2. Watch/read less book reviews before I've actually read the book. Stop relying on the Goodreads average ratings. Stop forming preconceived ideas before I've even began. This was something I noticed myself doing toward the end of 2015. I strive to form my own opinions this year! I strive to think deeper and share my thoughts and join in discussions once I know what I'm talking about.
3. I hope I can write more reviews for this blog! And have more book related discussions! Maybe I'll get up the courage and start Booktube! This isn't reading, but it's reading related, and it's stuff I hope to do, so there.
4. Since I will be really busy, I want to find ways to read when I can't. And by that, I mean I want to try out audiobooks. Especially this winter, I know I'll spend a lot of time in my car driving myself places. Perhaps I can crank out a Harry Potter or two just through the power of listening.
5. My last goal is to read more, enjoy what I read, and have the courage to cut books from my TBR if they no longer interest me. This is really important to me, as I will have only limited time this year. I'm a busy girl. So if something isn't grabbing me, I want to move on to another book quickly. Maybe I'll discover some kick-ass books this way.

And that was it! Short and sweet, my reading goals for 2016 are here just to push me. If I can reach 35 books, I'll be happy, but I'd love to shoot for 40. Some people are able to hit 50 or even a hundred, which is unrealistic for me. So keeping that in mind, I just want to read a ton. Don't we all?

Strong Opinions on Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

I would like to start off by saying Me and Earl and the Dying Girl was in no way a bad book. I just didn't really like it. I think this review says more about me than the book itself.

MEDY follows a high school senior named Greg: he's forced into the situation of comforting his ex girlfriend who has leukemia. However, the  main conflict of the novel is not that this girl, whom he forms an unlikely friendship with, has cancer, but that he is, in fact, an asshole. Greg S. Gaines doesn't understand life (or death) one bit.

 The book starts off with Greg breaking the fourth wall. He did this copious times in the book--a stylistic choice of Jesse Andrews that I wasn't very fond of. It felt like a cop-out, like Greg's informal tone was a joke to such a heavy-topic book. But then again, the entire book felt like a joke.

I at least expected Greg to prove us wrong and have a change of heart in the end. Which he sort of did, but he was still an jerk. Greg never appreciated his family, his friends, or Rachel. It took seeing Rachel on her deathbed for Greg to realize she was dying. I was unimpressed by his childlike behavior toward the whole situation, and silently appreciated Earl in my head when he beat him up in one of the final scenes.

I can't articulate how much it gets on my nerves that there was no point for this book. Greg doesn't take anything away from Rachel's death. The point of a story is growth and development, but there is little of that in this book. At times, it seemed to contradict itself, and Greg's story was incredibly jumbled. It felt like I was reading one of his films--it skipped around all the time, the characters were obnoxiously ungrateful and flat, and there truly was no plot. If this was Andrews' intention, then well done. But I felt like his novel was trying to be something it was not--witty and intelligent, but it felt abrasive and offensive.

The only thing preventing me from giving this book 1 star was the humor and the fact that it was a nice, fast paced read. But I still couldn't get into it, or connect with any of the characters.

Overall, I gave this book two stars. It had a lot of potential, and it was really funny in some parts, but I don't really understand the hype surrounding it. The best thing going for it was the relaxed contemporary style of the book (written in texts and script format), but the lackluster characters were unappealing to me throughout. Still, I'm interested in seeing the movie, hoping that it would fix my many problems with this book. Unfortunately, it was an underwhelming first read for the new year.